Explorations; the photography of Kim Martin
Explorations
The Photography of Kim Martin
Photography is a very personal medium for me. These images speak to me about Hope because they hold a strong connection to who I was and what I was experiencing in my life at the time they were taken.
I tend to use photography as a cathartic release when I am going through difficult times, or experiencing strong emotions. In challenging times I turn to my lens and to the natural world. I find that I can cry and think out loud when I am in nature and I tend to photograph things that make me feel strongly. I like photographing things many would find ugly or scary; hence the spiders and dead things. They hold the appeal for me of being things people want to stay away from. There’s a connection I feel to these subjects; perhaps I feel I am something others want to stay away from when I am experiencing strong emotions.
The self portraits in this selection are artifacts of an ongoing process. Self-image has been a struggle for me, as it is for many people, especially women. These images remind me that I am hopeful that one day, I will be able to see myself the way others see me. My body has often been the subject of other people's disdain. I have been told I am too skinny, that my flat chest is unattractive. If I started to gain weight, I was told that my stretch marks were ugly and the cellulite on my legs was unappealing. Like anyone, I obsessed over these body parts that seemed to be the subject of so much scrutiny. I was in two relationships where my partner had an unhealthy fixation on my looks. This did the double disservice of making me feel bad about myself physically, and then feeling negative about my choice in partners. As a way of working through these complex emotions, I tried to photograph myself the way I wished I felt. I also started to fear getting dementia and not being able to remember myself and my life so I told myself I'd better start documenting my days. That led to hundreds of self portraits being made and thousands of uploads to social media documenting the boring days and nights of my life.
All of this is to say that hope for me is the idea that things have the possibility to get better. To me, that's all a matter of changing the voices in my head, coming to a better relationship with that inner critic. It's so hard because I struggle with imposter syndrome, self-confidence, and thinking my art can never measure up to others’. Spiders are not everyone's cup of tea, neither are my self portraits. Nature and the way I photograph it appeals to me...no one else really cares to see it (or so my inner critic tells me).
The images are visions of hope that called to me and compelled me to collaborate with them to make art and to use them to help myself grow and heal. Nature asks for nothing in return yet it always willing to give and give and give. That is hopeful. That is hope.
Kim Martin is an educator, photographer and sci-fi nerd extraordinaire. Her work has recently appeared in the Arts Connection San Bernardino’s exhibition, “Out From Under— Uncovering the Genius of Black Artists in San Bernardino County.” If she had more money and more time she’d probably go to more Star Trek and Doctor Who conventions. When she’s not in the classroom teaching, or photographing spiders in her garage, Kim can be found hanging out in nature, daydreaming about life on other planets. You can connect with Kim on Instagram @mskimphotos and on Facebook: at: https://facebook.com/kim.photos